


Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Toby

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-03
Updated: 2006-02-03
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:42:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "We come up with a plan and then pounce...right Toby?"





	Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Toby

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Toby**

**by:** Montiese 

**Character(s):** Ensemble  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Leo  
**Category(s):** Drama/Humor/Romance  
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Summary:** "We come up with a plan and then pounce...right Toby?"   
**Written:** 2005-11-04  
**Author's Note:** For butterscotch puddin'. You know who you are and you know how I feel. 

"Get in the car or don't Toby...precious seconds are being lost!" 

Toby climbed into the passenger seat of the Beamer and they tore off behind CJ's classic Mustang. 

"I don't know how I feel about this now." Toby grumbled as Josh fought to keep up with CJ's car but not have her recognize she was being followed. That was why Josh borrowed Larry's car. 

"You were not saying that last week." Sam replied. 

"Yeah, but..." 

"No one is going to get hurt." Josh said. "CJ will not even see us. We will find out who this dude is and get back before anyone, particularly Leo, can miss us." 

"I have to admit, I really want to know who it is." Sam fiddled in his seat like an excited kid. 

"Sit back and put your seatbelt on." Toby snapped. "One smack on the brakes and you are through the windshield. I don't need that trauma." 

Sam did as he was told. 

"50 on Danny." Josh said. 

They were getting on the freeway. 

"It better not be Danny." Toby was grumbling again. 

"Why not?" Sam asked. "He is single, she is single, and they obviously like each other." 

"He is the press Sam!" Toby exclaimed. "She already feels like we don't trust her...the Oval Office doesn't trust her. It is not going to help her if she is bunking with Concannon." 

"50 bucks on Danny." Josh repeated. 

"Shut up Josh." 

They were silent for a while, listening to NPR and trying not to think about where CJ was going. 

"Maybe she is meeting a woman." Sam said. 

"Do you mean for intimate purposes?" Josh asked. 

"I don't know; we are all just guessing. We know next to nothing about her love life...she keeps it close to the cuff." 

"Unlike some of us." Toby turned and glared at his deputy. "She is not meeting a woman." 

"I am never going to live that down." Sam mumbled. "How do you know she is not meeting a woman?" 

"Because I know! She is not meeting a woman." 

"I hope CJ would tell us something like that." Josh replied. 

"Coming out of the closet is not easy." Sam said. "Even in this liberal climate." 

"CJ is not gay! Not that there is anything the matter with being so. I don't know what the hell is happening with her but it is not a rendezvous with a woman...believe me." 

Josh nodded. 

"OK Toby, I trust you. You've known her forever and a day." 

That's right, he had. Maybe that was why he was so upset right now. Well, maybe upset wasn't the right word. CJ had never kept things from him before. If she was sneaking around with Concannon, it was going to destroy everything she worked for. CJ would not do that no matter how much she cared about someone. She walked out on Toby over a decade ago because her career called. Of course, maybe she didn't want to make the same mistake twice. 

No dammit, she would not ruin it all for Danny Concannon. He was not even her type. But if not for him, who? Not that it was truly any of his business. Well, technically, he outranked her and he had to make sure that any activity she was engaged in, whether inside or out the confines of the White House, were not damaging to the name of the President. Yeah, that was it exactly. 

\-------------------------------------------------- 

_Dig if you will a picture_  
Of you and I engaged in a kiss  
The sweat of your body covers me  
Tell me my darling, can you picture this  
Dream if you will a courtyard  
Oceans and violets in bloom  
Animals strike curious poses  
They feel the heat  
The heat between me and you 

The beep of her cell phone broke CJ's reverie. She flipped it open, smiling. 

_'Here, half naked, and cold. Where are you baby?'_

She quickly replied as she got off at the Arlington exit. They had been doing this back and forth so long she could do it with one hand while driving. Dangerous yes, but danger was CJ Cregg's middle name. 

_'10 minutes. I will warm you up, I promise.'_

She threw her phone back in her purse and pressed her foot on the gas. Damn she was anxious to see him...they both needed this. They were both up to their necks in work and moments of privacy were just that, mere moments. God, it felt like forever and a day since she last put her arms around him or felt his breath in her ear. _Don't worry Claudia Jean_ , she said to herself, _you will be the center of his world in 10 minute_ s. Getting together for sex seemed to cheapen both of their feelings, but right now that was all they had. And feelings were not something either one of them discussed with candidness. 

CJ pulled into a parking space at the Arlington Hyatt, grabbing her purse and pulling out the keycard. Room 514...bring on the romance. 

\-------------------------------------------------------- 

The Beamer went past the parking lot, turning around about 100 feet ahead in the Chevron parking lot. 

"Maybe we should get gas." Sam said. "Larry didn't have to let us borrow his car." 

"Especially since you were the one driving Josh." Toby added. 

"We will do that later." Josh pulled in two cars over from CJ's. "We have wasted so much time. We need a plan." 

"Six floors." Sam said. "We will search two floors a piece and converge in the middle." 

"Good plan, except we converge in the lobby." Toby replied. "We will communicate via text message." 

"OK, but what are we going to do, knock on doors?" Josh asked. 

"Listen for sex noises." Sam answered as they got out of the car and walked to the entrance. "There can't be that many people here for afternoon delight." 

"You would be surprised." Toby said. "I know what CJ sounds like." 

Sam and Josh snickered like teenagers but Toby's cold glare stopped them. Sam cleared his throat; Josh ran his fingers through his hair. 

"Lets just get this over with." Toby said. "I'll do 1 and 2; Josh 3 and 4; Sam 5 and 6. 15 minutes and we meet in the lobby." 

"Are we going to just bust in on CJ?" Sam asked. "She's gonna kill us." 

"No." Josh said. "We come up with a plan and then we pounce...right Toby?" 

"Yeah. Lets go." 

\------------------------------------------------------ 

CJ walked into the room and closed the door. The curtains were drawn and Cassandra Wilson crooned from a radio. Further in, she found Leo relaxing on the bed in a bathrobe. He read _Forbes_ and CJ smiled. 

"Hey Leopold. Reading to find out if you made anymore money?" 

"Just occupying my time until you got here." 

Leo got up from the bed, threw the magazine to the side, and took CJ into his arms. She wasn't sure if he heard her exhale but he had to feel it. 

"God, I've wanted this." She sighed as he kissed her neck. 

"Really? Miss me Claudia Jean?" he ran his hands down her back. 

"Yes." 

She kissed him and let him undress her. The pantsuit was thrown across a chair and left her in a lime green bra and panties. 

"I like it." she whispered. 

Leo ran his hands across all the skin he could reach; CJ quivered. 

"Come to bed baby." 

Damn, that was addicting. They kissed on the bed as CJ untied Leo's robe and pushed it off his shoulders. He was naked underneath and she appreciated that. 

"I love your body." She murmured, splashing kisses across his neck, chest, and stomach. 

"I'm still not entirely sure I..." the rest of the sentence was caught in a gasp. CJ's soft hands slid down his erection. "Yeah baby, don't stop." 

"You like my touch?" 

"Mmm hmm...so good." 

CJ smiled, loving that she could steal most of Leo's rational mind with a single touch. She went down on him as Leo groaned and tangled his fingers in her hair. A fellatio expert this woman was. The things she did with her mouth were probably illegal in some states and cause for deification in small countries. She never bragged or acted as if it were a big deal...a sure sign it was a gift bestowed upon her. She knew what to do with every blessed inch of him; nothing was ignored when she gave him special attention. 

Leo thrust his hips upward as CJ deep throated him. She could practically tick off the seconds on her fingers; he was getting ready to... 

"Claudia, Claudia, ooh, CJ, oh God!" 

He jerked forward slightly and spilled into her mouth. She swallowed without a second thought, kissing and licking her way back up to Leo's mouth. 

"Can I kiss you?" she asked. 

"Why would you ask me that?" Leo's lips lingered on top of hers but he did not go in for the kill. 

"Some men don't like the taste of cum." 

"If it is good enough for you baby, it is good enough for me. C'mere." 

CJ laughed before letting him kiss her. His tongue explored her mouth until they were both breathless. Kissing CJ was one of Leo's favorite things. He knew her mouth intimately and had fallen in love with it. CJ pulled away; Leo turned her over on her back. He unsnapped the bra from the front and nuzzled his face to her tiny breasts. 

"Seriously, I don't think I have ever been so fascinated by a pair of breasts." His voice was muffled but she understood. 

"I always felt I was shaped like a pre-pubescent boy." CJ replied. 

"You are a stunning woman CJ. I know it and so do you. Oh, and you taste like heaven." 

She sighed as he kissed and caressed her breasts. She was less vocal than usual, just muffled giggles and content sighs as Leo gave her all his interest. 

"Don't bite your lip." He murmured against her skin. "Let it out. I like to hear you." 

"Leo." 

"There you go...never hold back with me Claudia Jean." 

"I..." she clamped down on her lip to keep her love for him inside. He had not said it yet; CJ was not at all sure how he felt. 

His mouth moved down, kissing her stomach, pelvis, and thighs. When Leo made love to her with his mouth, CJ forgot she had ever been with other men. She moaned, pushing herself up from the bed and calling out his name. She ran her fingers through his hair. 

"Leo, Leo, oh God, please, oh God! Don't stop! More! Ohhh!" 

He didn't stop and she came, crying out and gripping the sheets in bliss. It had not been this good in a very long time. He scaled her body, kissing her neck and earlobe. 

"You taste so good." He whispered. 

"Do I?" 

"You do. You're beautiful baby, and you taste good." 

CJ laughed and held him close. He lifted her thighs and slowly filled her. The sex was wonderful as usual. They both came with intensity and lay on the bed catching their breath. 

"Mmm." CJ sighed. 

"Exactly. CJ, I wish we had more time." 

"Don't. We can talk logistics, if that is even the right word, later. I am hungry though...do we have time for lunch?" 

Leo pulled out and grabbed the room service menu. 

"Of course. There is a six-pack of Coke here, but we need ice. Should I get it?" 

CJ shook her head. 

"I'll get it. Could you order a turkey club on wheat for me, no bacon?" 

She turned on her side, kissed him, and got up from the bed. After a head to toe stretch, CJ freshened up in the bathroom, covered herself with a Terry cloth robe and took the ice bucket from the dresser. 

"Aren't you afraid someone from the Post-Intelligencer getting your photo?" Leo asked before she left the room. 

"I am sick to death of worrying about that. It is 1:20 on a Wednesday afternoon...if I am caught I deserve it. I will be right back." 

"Hurry back Claudia Jean, and be careful." 

\--------------------------------------------------------- 

"I think she is on the fifth floor. I'm nearly positive." Sam said as he got off the elevator and met Toby and Josh. 

"How do you know?" Toby asked, nudging him back in and pushing five. 

"Giggles, muffled voices, and sexy jazz music." 

"That's better than what I got." Josh replied. "I just got TVs and really loud phone conversations. I also checked out the bar downstairs in case she was meeting someone just for lunch." 

Toby sucked his teeth. 

"There are hundreds of restaurants near the Capitol...who needs to drive to Arlington?" 

The elevator doors opened and Sam stepped off first. 

\----------------------------------------------------------- 

"Oh shit!" 

CJ grabbed the ice bucket, rushed down the hall and slammed the door. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" 

Leo walked out of the bathroom and stared at her. 

"What's the matter? Are you alright CJ?" 

"Sam was out there Leo...in the hallway." 

"Sam Seaborn?" 

CJ put the bucket back on the dresser. 

"No, Samuel L. Jackson! Of course Sam Seaborn! I know that he saw me, and if he didn't he heard the door slam." 

"What the hell is Sam doing at the Arlington Hyatt?" 

They both lowered their voices and walked deeper into the room. 

"They followed me." She hissed. "Those bastards followed me." 

"OK, I am not following you." Leo said. 

"The past couple of weeks they kept asking me all these questions." She said. "They have been giving me funny looks, checking out my flowers; want to know why I'm so cheerful. I told them it was none of their damn business. Dammit! They are completely undermining me." 

"Calm down CJ." He put his hands on her shoulder. 

"No, this isn't right. No one followed you when you left the office this afternoon. I have two brothers; I don't need Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Toby pulling up the rear. Shit!" 

"Its alright. Baby," he put his arms around her. "Its alright. Look at me; take a deep breath." 

CJ obeyed him and then sighed. 

"It is going to be alright." 

"They know we are in here...I'm in here. Its not..." 

There was a loud knock on the door and both CJ and Leo knew it wasn't lunch. 

"I'll get it." she said. "I'm going to handle this." 

"You are not going outside to argue with three men in a bathrobe." 

"Well I am certainly not going to invite them in for lunch. This is not the way I want everyone to find out about us Leo. We don't even know if we want anyone to know." 

"Yeah. Go, get rid of them." 

CJ nodded, walking to the door as another loud bang nearly shook it. She pulled it open with an angry look in her blue eyes and stared at her spin boys. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" she closed the door and loomed over Josh. 

Sam practically standing behind Toby. 

"We could ask you the same thing." Josh put on his best authoritative voice. "Your choice of ensemble leads us to believe this is no lunch date." 

"This is none of your business." 

"Is Danny Concannon in there?" 

CJ turned and frowned at Toby. He had seen the look before; knew how to stand up to it. For a little while anyway. 

"What! Is that why you followed me? You think I'm sleeping with Danny." 

"He bought you a fish." Sam said. 

"Oh, he bought me a fish; I better spread my legs and beg for more. Josh bought me a blouse last Christmas...shall I fuck him next Tuesday?" 

"Shut up Josh." Toby said before the Deputy Chief of Staff could respond. "We have a right to be suspicious..." 

"You have a right to nothing. I am a grown woman and I won't have you guys running through my life like this. All of you ought to be ashamed, and you're idiots." 

"You have been acting strange." Sam said. "We were concerned." 

"Firstly, of course I act strange; I get an average of four hours of sleep per night. Secondly, you were nosy, not concerned. I don't care what you guys do outside the White House and I expect the same space I give you to be afforded to me. Go away." 

Josh looked at his watch. 

"Hardly two o'clock on a weekday Claudia Jean. Your little rendezvous is definitely on President Bartlet's dime." 

"You little..." 

Josh backed up as CJ made a grab for him. Toby stepped up. 

"Tell us who is in the room and we will go away." He said. 

"No. I will not. If you don't trust me then go to hell." 

"Assure us it is not Danny." Sam said. "I like him too CJ, but he is a reporter." 

"Its not Danny." 

"And we just take your word?" Josh asked. 

"My word or my fist you gobshite! Damn you!" 

Toby's phone rang and everyone froze. 

"Shit!" 

"What?" Sam asked. 

"Its Leo." He clicked the phone on. "Yeah?" 

"Where are you? I've been calling your office; there is a meeting at two." 

"What meeting? Um, I'm taking a walk." 

"Walk back to the White House please. Strategy meeting on the short list at two. I forgot to put it on your schedule but I did not expect you to disappear in the middle of the day. You don't happen to be taking a walk with Josh, do you?" 

"No. I don't know where Josh is." 

"Well get back here...the President may make some changes. Margaret! Two o'clock Toby. My schedule is tight this afternoon; I need you guys to be on time." 

"Yeah. Bye." 

He clicked the phone off, looking at his companions. 

"We have to go." 

"What's up?" Josh asked. 

"Short list meeting at two just added to the schedule. Leo is looking for us." 

"Shit." Sam muttered. 

"We need to find out who is in that room." Josh said. "We came this far." 

"No, we need to get back to the White House. Leo is looking for us." Toby replied. 

Josh sighed. 

"Alright, lets go." 

"I am never going to forgive you." CJ said as they walked down the hall. 

"Maybe one day you will see our concern." Josh said. 

"Doubtful." 

She went back into the room and slammed the door. Leo hung up the phone. 

"Margaret will tell them I am in the sit room and let them stir for a while." 

"Yeah." 

"Are you alright?" 

"I'm not hungry anymore Leo. Call and cancel lunch; I just want to go back to the White House." 

"OK. Look, have some soda first; put up your feet for a couple of minutes. You're angry and you should not drive while you're angry." 

CJ flopped down in one of the overstuffed chairs as Leo poured her a glass of soda. Then he cancelled their lunch order. For a few moments they avoided looking at each other as CJ sipped her soda in contemplative silence. 

"Wanna hear a joke?" Leo asked. 

CJ looked at him and tried to put on a smile. 

"Sure." 

"So this guy walks into the doctor's office and he says 'Doc, I'...wait no, he walks into a bar and he says 'Joe, my wife left me today'. And Joe says...wait first he orders a beer, and then he says his wife left him. So Joe says 'Deedee the blonde?' and the guys says...wait, I really know this joke...he says...dammit all." 

CJ burst out laughing. She shook her head and just laughed. Leo smiled. 

"There you go. I got you to laugh." 

"C'mere Leopold." 

He leaned forward and she kissed him. 

"Thank you." She said. 

"You're welcome." He brushed a stray auburn hair from her cheek. "I don't tell you enough how fond I am of you." 

CJ pulled back slightly. 

"That's OK. I really should get dressed and go." 

"Yeah." 

CJ smiled again, gathered up her clothes and went into the bathroom. Leo leaned back on the bed and covered both his eyes. Those guys would be lucky if they got any sleep over the next week or so. He hoped they enjoyed their little excursion this afternoon because it would be a long time before they saw outside the confines of the West Wing during the day again. 


End file.
